100 Ways To Annoy Tom Marvolo Riddle
by dancing in the sky
Summary: Title says all! 100 ways to get yourselves killed by our favorite character!
1. 1 to 50

hey everyone! I was at home, alone and bored so I decided to write this just to procrastinate on my homework. If theres another ' annoy voldemort fics ' (I don't know if there are) I'm joining the club. and i must admit, some of the ways to annoy him are random, stupid, and not funny. (you can pick 'em out yourselves!)

I got some help with some of these- they are not all mine!

Disclaimer: I do not own anything! The great JKR does!

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**100 Ways to Annoy Voldemort **

1. Call him the Man-Who-Let-The-Boy-Live.

2. Squeal and blush every time you see him.

3. Tell the death eaters you 'taught him everything he knows'

4. Repeatedly hint that 'that Potter boy' is the cutest thing you've ever seen

5. Tell him Dumbledore sounds better than Voldemort

6. Tell him Voldemort spelled backwards its Tromedlov

7. Tell him you like it better

8. Tell him Crabbe has a crush on Wormtail

9. Jinx underpants to come out of his wand every time he tries to kill somebody

10. Ask Dobby to knit him a life time of socks

11. That say 'I love Harry Potter' in red and gold

12. Insist that he wears them on a daily basis

13. Tell him stories about how wigs make people 'feel beautiful'

14. Tell him he would look good in one.

15. Sing sappy love songs every time you see him

16. Call him Voldypoo

17. And Mortykinns, if your feeling brave.

18. And don't forget Tommy

19. Tell him you love his new 'looks' and say his bald head brings out his eyes.

20. Make odd remarks and shake your head every time he reveals new plans

21. Ask him why anyone in their right mind would name someone _Marvolo._

22. Ask him what it means.

23. Constantly remind him that he isn't really alive.

24. Tell him Dumbledore has a crush on him

25. Snap, break, eat and/or hide his wand

26. And blame it all on Lucius

27. Decorate his lair with pink frilly things

28. Sell his snake to Hagrid

29. Then tell him to eat it

30. Draw Harry Potter shaped glasses on his eyes while he is sleeping

31. And a scar on his forehead.

32. Put a permanent sticking charm on them so he cant remove them

33. Laugh at him

34. Tell him black robes and masks went out of fashion years ago

35. Be Harry Potter

36. Decorate the Death Eater's masks with rhinestones

37. Ask him if you can do his hair, then 'remember' that he is bald

38. Every time he looks at you, grab yourself and scream 'IM MELTING! IM MELTING!

39. Throw a surprise party for him

40.Invite Harry Potter.

41. Confess that your love for him burns like the sun.

42. Ask him why he is afraid of an old man and why he lost to a baby.

43. Question why he calls himself a 'lord' even though he doesn't rule anything

except the Death Eaters.

44. And tell him that's not an accomplishment.

45. Tell him he looks pale and should see a doctor. (a muggle one!)

46. Tell him that he should change the Death Eater's names to The Promising Wizards of Tomorrow Society.

47. Continually point out that Death Eater's don't actually eat death.

48. Mock everything he says and does.

49. Say 'Would Salazar approve?' to all of his actions

50. Kill Harry Potter.

I will continue if you like it...with another chapter with 50 more!

so review please!


	2. 51 to 100

hey everyone! appreciate the reviews, and i was really stuck on these, so ummm, some of em stink.

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**100 Ways To Annoy Tom Marvolo Riddle **

51. Ask him 'Did you do something different with your hair this morning?'

52. Recommend a great therapist.

53. Tell him that all his anger is not good for his colon.

54. Give him a house elf and tell it to sing Christmas carols.

55. Write the Death Eater's a theme song and sing it every time they meet.

56. Sign him up for Witch Weekly's 'Most Charming Smile Award'

57. And tell him Dumbledore did it.

58. Tell him he needs a hobby and sign him up for pottery classes.

59. Set him up on a blind date with Professor Trelawney.

60. Buy him Gryffindor pajamas

61. Sign him up for Harry Potter's fan club

62. Paint the Shrieking Shack periwinkle blue

63. Remind him that 7 of his 'brilliant' plans were foiled by a teenager, and a baby.

64. Dress up as Dumbledore for Halloween

65. Find his horcruxes and give them to Harry for Christmas.

66. Remind him that his name is not really Voldemort, its Tom.

67. Introduce him to Colin Creevey

68. Ask for his autograph

69. Tell the Death Eater's that Voldemort has asked them to buy pink robes.

70. And insist that they do it.

71. Buy him a complete set of Lockhart's books and insist that he reads them

72. Nominate him for Minister of Magic

73. Give him coupons to muggle tanning salons

74. Tell him that 'pink is the new black' and insist that you buy him a full set of pink robes.

75. Tell his whereabouts to the Ministry

76. Slip polyjuice potion into his goblet.

77. Turn him into Harry Potter

78. Sing Celestina Warbeck's 'You Charmed the Heart Right Out of Me' every time he charms something.

79. Use the Imperius curse on the Death Eaters and make them re-enact all of Harry's victories.

80. Apparate in and out of his face as many times as possible.

81. Buy him books on anger management

82. Suggest he finds ' a better subject to let his anger out on' instead of a poor, innocent, little boy.

83. When he orders you to do something, burst into tears screaming 'I CAN'T DO IT! I CAN'T DO IT!'

84. Giggle every time he attempts to speak diabolically.

85. Tell him that round glasses are cool.

86. Ask him if you can paint his nails.

87. When he says no, do it anyway.

88. Say the bald look works for some people, just not him.

89. Ask him where he bought his rotten cabbage cologne.

90. Every time he says 'Harry Potter' start to clap and cheer.

91. Give him a 'I SUPPORT HARRY POTTER' sticker.

92. Tell him that purple eye shadow would really bring out his eyes.

93. Write 'I LOVE ALBUS' on the back of all of his robes.

94. Don't tell him.

95. Give him 'Gildorey Lockhart's Guide to Dry, Pale, and Unhealthy Skin'

96. Wonder aloud why he looks like a snake.

97. Give him a lifetime supply of Hagrid's rock cakes.

98. Tell him that his 'most faithful servant' is really a rat.

99. Send him to an interview with Rita Skeeter explaining his happy and exuberant childhood.

100. Tell him you think Dumbledore's beard is cute and that he should grow one.

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there ya go! it took me a whopping two days to get this long, exiting, riveting 'story' completed! 

review!


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